Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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