hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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