Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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