new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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