Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Damn victory sex feels great
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
