I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
