i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
