he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
