Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
