12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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