Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
