He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Vodka?
Forever.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
