Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
