This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
