so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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