He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
