this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
