I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
