dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
