There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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