I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
