If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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