worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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