I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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