she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
