I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
