i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
