Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
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