Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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