So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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