you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
