There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
