i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
