i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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