she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
