dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
