i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
you never un-have a 4some
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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