I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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