break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
