i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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