How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize
