I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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