I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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