Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
If I die, sorry about rent.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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