wakey wakey hands off snakey
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Drunk is not a location!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
