she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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