I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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