No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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