man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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