he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
