My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
