Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
