But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
