What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
