Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Bang-toberfest begins!!
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Randomize
